1992
What is the New Jack Hip Hop Awards?
A few years ago, everyone on alt.rap and the funky-music mailing list was bitchin' about how lame the Grammy's were in general, and especially how weak they were when it came to rap and hiphop.
Thus was born the New Jack Hip Hop Awards.
You decide on the categories. You nominate. You vote. All we do is count and give out the Jacks. You can't blame us.
So, let's begin shall we?
These votes were counted by gatsby@wam.umd.edu.
Biggest sellout
For the suckas that go pop. Should have been at least vaguely
hip-hop in the first place.
| 47.0% | Hammer |
| 18.0% | Big Daddy KANE |
| 18.0% | Kriss Kross |
| 17.0% | Doug E. Fresh |
Well Hammer, nominated for selling chicken in a manner unbecoming hiphop (I guess), just walked away with this one. Kriss Kross (who aren't really sell-outs 'cause they haven't had the chance yet) tied with the Big Daddy, whom no one seems to have forgiven for that muchly whack R&B psuedo-rap album they've been playing for a while now. The big embarrassment this year is Doug E Fresh: the feeling seems to be that he fell off in a major big time way in an attempt to make a comeback. Whatever happened to stuff like "The Show"?
Whackest rapper
The weakest, but visible, whackster of the year.
| 71.1% | Marky Mark |
| 22.7% | Hammer |
| 6.2% | Doug E. Fresh |
New Kid alum Mark Mark just out and out smoked the competition this year. Major upset. What can I say? Underwear. Hip hop. Hmmmm.
Best Comeback
Those we had written off as dead, but who came back like hard, are
noted here.
| 28.4% | Beastie Boys |
| 26.3% | Everlast |
| 22.1% | Eric B & Rakim |
| 13.7% | Brand Nubians |
| 9.5% | KRS-ONE |
The Beastie Boys fans, who have been noisy throughout the awards, have finally made their voices heard. The Boys, who had been gone a while, returned to the scene bringing major grunge with Check Your Head. The other major comeback nod was given to Everlast, a very dead solo artist who finally made his inroads with the House of Pain (at least that's what people tell me). Certainly a return from beyond.
Hardest and Ugliest Dis'
Award for the hardest most diggum-smack dis of the year--the one
that made you screw up your face and go "damn!"
| 45.7% | "No Vaseline" Ice Cube |
| 25.5% | "California Uber Alles" Disposable Heroes of HipHoprisy |
| 18.1% | "Big Mama" Shante |
| 5.3% | "We in There (RMX)" Boogie Down Productions |
| 3.2% | "Professor Booty" Beastie Boys |
| 2.2% | "Feel the Vibe, Feel the Beat" Boogie Down Productions |
Now this is just a bit of an embarrassment.
Acording to the rules of the game, "No Vaseline" was eligible both last year and this year (no easy way around it) and, uh, the song won last year as well. A dis that spans the ages....
Oh, well, second went to DHoH with their Jello Biafra-sanctioned remake of the classic Dead Kennedy's ballad. Shante managed a whithering third and the B people brought up the rear.
These votes were counted by jm82+@andrew.cmu.edu and isbell@isbell.org
The "bohemian/progressive" part is best described by its members. Groups like De La Soul, A Tribe Called Quest (and in fact the whole Native Tongue Family), as well as PM Dawn and the like fall into this class. I can't do much better. Try looking up "bohemian" in the dictionary. The "jazz" part is more obvious and, in fact, some of the above groups fit in that category.
Phattest Bohemian Rap Group
| 42.0% | A Tribe Called Quest |
| 38.0% | Arrested Development |
| 13.0% | Black Sheep |
| 7.0% | Fu-Schnickens |
The old boys on the block beat out the upstarts, if only by the skin of their teeth. It was a neck-and-neck race until the very end, but the Tribe pulled through. Black Sheep did almost surprisingly well, quietly beating up on the barely-out-the-box Fu's.
Phattest Bohemian Male Rapper
| 45.0% | Q-Tip |
| 20.0% | The Guru |
| 19.0% | Speech |
| 16.0% | Grand Puba |
Never a contest. Q-Tip took the lead with the first vote cast and kept it from there on in. The big surprise was The Guru (of Gangstarr fame) who edged out the nominee from the seemingly more popular Arrested Development. Grand Puba also did well, considering everything.
Phattest Bohemian Female Rapper
| 64.9% | Queen Latifah |
| 18.1% | Monie Love |
| 17.0% | Lyte |
Well. There outta be a law against spanking someone this bad. The Queen ripped up shop. The battle for second was more interesting with Monie Love pulling out at the very last second.
Phattest Bohemian Rap Single
| 26.7% | "Scenario" A Tribe Called Quest with Leaders of the New School |
| 26.7% | "Tennessee" Arrested Development |
| 22.8% | "They Reminisce Over You" Pete Rock and C.L Smooth |
| 19.8% | "Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)" Diggable Planets |
| 4.0% | "La Schmoove" Fu-Schnickens |
This, on the other hand, was much more interesting. This time the upstarts managed a tie with their more established competition. It was a very tight race. Further, both third and fourth place came close to first with "T.R.O.Y" behind by only a few votes and the newish DP entry barely behind them. The only real losers were the FU's.
Phattest Bohemian Rap Album
| 50.4% | 3 years, 5 months and 2 days in the life of... Arrested Development |
| 15.8% | Mecca and the Soul Brother Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth |
| 14.9% | Daily Operation GangStarr |
| 14.9% | Fu...Don't Take It Personal, Fu-Schnickens |
| 4.0% | Reel to Reel Grand Puba |
And so we come to the end. Without a 1992 Tribe album to stop them, Arrested Development just plain whomped the others, winning over half the vote. Damn. Still, second place was a battle worth watching with Pete Rock & CL Smooth, Gangstarr and the Fu's all managing their props.
This set was counted by cd1l+@andrew.cmu.edu
Well, this is everyone from NWA to Ice Cube to Ice T and back.
Phattest Gangsta Group
| 46.8% | Cypress Hill |
| 25.5% | Da Lench Mob |
| 10.6% | House of Pain |
| 9.6% | Compton's Most Wanted |
| 7.5% | Geto Boys |
House of Pain started out well, but ended up in the cellar with with CMW and the Geto Boys. Saved from this fate was Da Lench Mob whose fans provided them with a surge in the middle. The winner of the Real Estate is, of course, none other than Cypress Hill.
Phattest Gangsta Male Rapper
| 58.6% | Ice Cube |
| 22.2% | Ice T |
| 9.2% | Kool G Rap |
| 4.0% | Too Short |
| 3.0% | MC Ren |
| 3.0% | Spice 1 |
The Ice People picked up the vast majority of the votes, with the Cube guy actually winning a majority and utterly embarrassing his former comrade-in-arms MC Ren. I don't even want to say anything.
Phattest Gangsta Female Rapper
| 42.9% | Yo-Yo |
| 28.6% | MC Lyte |
| 14.4% | Shante |
| 4.7% | Nikki D |
| 4.7% | Choice |
| 4.7% | Boss |
You know, I must admit to being surprised at how well the rearely-mentioned Shante actually did. I guess I sorta attributed her nominations as due to the utter dearth of females in the hiphop upper echelons, but maybe she actually has something going for her (or at least more than Nikki D, Choice and Boss). Anyway, YoYo takes it over MC Lyte quite handily despite their early neck-and-neck battling.
Phattest Gangsta Rap Single
| 44.3% | "Wicked" Ice Cube |
| 16.6% | "Hand on Glock" Cypress Hill |
| 14.4% | "Guerillas In Tha Mist" Da Lench Mob |
| 13.4% | "Nuthin' But A G Thang" Dre & Snoop |
| 4.1% | "In The Trunk" Too Short |
| 4.1% | "Jus Lyke Compton" DJ Quik |
| 3.1% | "Ever so Clear" Bushwick Bill |
Only a fight for second place with Cypress Hill beating out Ice Cube's other favorites, Da Lench Mob. The muchly-played Dre and Snoop "Nuthin' But A G Thang" also did very well. But, of course, the top prize goes to Ice Cube.
Phattest Gangsta Rap Album
| 75.6% | The Predator Ice Cube |
| 11.1% | Shorty the Pimp Too Short |
| 10.0% | Guerillas In Da Mist Da Lench Mob |
| 3.3% | Spice 1 Spice 1 |
Our counter wryly notes that Ice Cube always drops his albums just in time for the New Jack Hip Hop Awards. Hmmmmmmm. In any case, something is working for him 'cause he just swept this whole category (I'm almost surprised that he didn't win best group) and utterly trashed this award. Well. Well. Oh, yeah, Dr Dre's bit received a sympathy write-in.
This bit o counting was done by dav@dartmouth.edu
I think this is pretty obvious. Rap with an explicit social and/or political message.
Phattest Political Group
| 67.3% | Public Enemy |
| 16.8% | Boogie Down Productions |
| 9.9% | Da Lench Mob |
| 6.0% | X Clan |
Well. Well. Well. Rare, uh, majority by Public Enemy.
Phattest Political Male Rapper
| 38.2% | Chuck D |
| 25.5% | Ice Cube |
| 21.6% | Paris |
| 14.7% | KRS-One |
Not quite a trouncing like the one above but still a solid victory. Ice Cube has always managed to cross over from Gangsta hip hop to Political hip hop so that's no surprise. The big bump into to fame this year goes to Paris, who managed to do quite well, considering the competition.
Phattest Political Female Rapper
| 52.4% | Queen Latifah |
| 24.4% | Yo-Yo |
| 15.9% | Sista Souljah |
| 3.7% | May-May Ali |
| 2.4% | Gimilah Shabazz |
| 1.2% | BO$$ |
Another majority win. Queen Latifah began in first place and never opted to let anyone get close. Yo-Yo and Sista Souljah took the rest over the other relatively unknown entries.
Phattest Political Rap Single
| 40.0% | "Hazy Shade of Criminal" Public Enemy |
| 25.0% | "Revolution" Arrested Development |
| 19.0% | "Bush Killa" Paris |
| 16.0% | "Guerillas in tha Mist" Da Lench Mob |
Public Enemy walks away with it again, but--considering the competition--the boys and girls of Arrested Development conducted themselves in a quite respectable manner. Paris' slight lead over Da Lench Mob is a bit of surprise but, well, that's how it goes.
Phattest Political Rap Album
| 32.3% | Greatest Misses Public Enemy |
| 31.2% | Hypocrisy is the Greatest Luxury Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy |
| 18.3% | Sleeping With the Enemy Paris |
| 18.3% | Sex and Violence Boogie Down Productions |
The lead see-sawed back and forth throughout. No clear winner until the very last second when PE pulled it out. This is a surprise considering that the album was not as well-received as the previous releases.
This set by pd2@cis.ufl.edu & isbell@isbell.org
Funniest Rap
For the, uh, funniest single.
| 48.9% | "Baby Got Back" Sir Mix A Lot |
| 28.4% | "Yo Mama" - Pharcyde |
| 12.5% | "Movie Scene" Fu-schnickens |
| 6.8% | "Nightshift" Postive K |
| 3.4% | "Operation CB" Kool G Rap |
MixALot held number one throughout, but Pharcyde gave him a run for his money. The hilarious--but never released--"Movie Scene" came in at a distance third (but did much better than fourth and fifth; they barely beat out the Beastie Boys write-in "Boomin' Granny").
Leaders of the New School
Award for the most innovative rapper or group whether old or new
taking hip hop in a new direction.
| 37.0% | Arrested Development 3 Years, 5 Months, 2 Days in the Life of |
| 29.0% | Das EFX Straight From The Sewer |
| 12.0% | Beastie Boys Check Your Head |
| 12.0% | Brand New Heavies Heavy Rhyme Experience |
| 10.0% | Fu-schnickens FU Don't Take It Personal |
Speech and the crew's Life Music managed this one pretty comfortably. The Diggety Das EFX boys made a respectable second place showing. The surprise here might be Brand New Heavies. The funk-jazz instrumentalists' Heavy Rhyme Experience held its own quite honorably.
Provider of Phattest Samples
Who's provided the best samples *this year*?
| 61.8% | P-Funk/Clinton |
| 24.5% | James Brown |
| 7.8% | Ohio Players |
| 5.9% | Queen |
No contest. Huge upset this time around. The PFunk just plain stomped on everyone.
Phattest/Most Innovative Use of a Sample
Award for the artist who used a sample (be it music, voice or
whatever) in the most innovative, unexpected or phattest way.
| 39.4% | Ice Cube use of the "We Will Rock You" sample by Queen |
| 24.5% | PE's "rebel base" use in "Hazy Shade of Criminal" (with props to UMCs) |
| 20.2% | Ice Cube's entire use of samples in Predator |
| 15.9% | Ice Cube's use of Michael Jordan's "You better eat your wheaties" |
Despite competing with himself, Ice Cube took top honors with what was often described as the best use of "We Will Rock You" ever on "When Will They Shoot". PE and UMC's managed second, barely edging out Ice Cube's album. Interestingly, the other contender also appeared on "When Will They Shoot".
This final set was counted by isbell@isbell.org
Most Unfairly Slept On Album
Ever year some artist comes off proper but is ignored by the
community. Here we may remedy that.
| 36.8% | Hypocrisy is the Greatest Luxury Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy |
| 27.4% | Check Your Head Beastie Boys |
| 23.2% | Fu...Don't Take It Personal, Fu Schnickens |
| 12.6% | Return of the Funky Man Lord Finesse |
It was never really a contest. There are a lot of frustrated DHoH fans out there. The run for second was a bit more interesting as the Beastie Boys and Fu Schnickens traded back and forth until near the end.
Phattest New Hip Hopster
The best New Jack to arrive on the scene this year.
| 27.6% | Arrested Development 3 Years, 5 Months, 2 Days in the Life of |
| 26.5% | Das EFX Straight From The Sewer |
| 18.4% | Red Man What Thee Album |
| 11.2% | House of Pain House of Pain |
| 9.2% | Diamond D and the Psychotic Neurotics Stunts, Blunts, and Hip Hop |
| 7.1% | Fu-Schnickens FU... Don't Take It Personal |
It was a race until the end, with AD pulling ahead on the very last day. Red Man tried to make it a contest early on, but it became clear that he never really had a chance.
Hall of Fame
Award for that person or persons who managed to make hip hop history
and have stood the test of time. Last year Public Enemy became our
first Hall of famer. This year, the nominees were:
Run-DMC
KRS-One/Boogie Down Productions
Grandmaster Flash
Afrika Bambatta
Eric B and Rakim
And the winner is:
| 33.7% | Run-DMC |
| 18.4% | Grandmaster Flash |
| 18.4% | Eric B and Rakim |
| 16.3% | KRS-One/Boogie Down Productions |
| 13.2% | Afrika Bambatta |
Although a distant third last year, The Kings of Rock managed a nice comfortable lead this year from the very beginning. Last year's second place winner managed second place again. The big surprise was Eric B and Rakim who never let Grandmaster Flash get ahead by more than a vote or two.
Phattest Rap Single
The Phattest single to drop this year. Period. This year's
nominees:
"They Reminisce Over You" Pete Rock And C.L. Smooth
"Scenario" A Tribe Called Quest featuring LONS
"Dwyck" Gangstarr featuring Nice & Smooth
"Jump Around" House Of Pain
"They Want EFX" Das EFX
"When Will they Shoot" Ice Cube
And the winner is:
| 24.7% | "Scenario" A Tribe Called Quest featuring LONS |
| 18.6% | "They Reminisce Over You" Pete Rock And C.L. Smooth |
| 18.6% | "Jump Around" House Of Pain |
| 16.5% | "When Will they Shoot" Ice Cube |
| 11.3% | "Dwyck" Gangstarr featuring Nice & Smooth |
| 10.3% | "They Want EFX" Das EFX |
A close race from day one. At some point, each nominee commanded a lead. "Jump Around" remained the clear winner for much of the time (never underestimate the appeal of men--or even pre-adolescents in baggy pants--jumping) but "Scenario" pulled ahead. Pete Rock and CL Smooth's jazzy entry struggled to maintain near the end and tied for second. Fans of Ice Cube's "When Will They Shoot" even made their voices heard about halfway thru but it was too little too late. "Dwyck" flirted with second for some time, but eventually joined Das EFX in the basement (with write-in "The Punisher" by Eric B & Rakim).
Phattest Rap Album
The Phattest album to drop this year. Period. This year's
nominee's:
The Predator Ice Cube
Mecca and the Soul Brother Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth
3 Years, 5 Months, 2 Days in the Life of Arrested Developement
House of Pain House of Pain
Daily Operation GangStarr
And the winner is:
| 42.8% | The Predator Ice Cube |
| 22.9% | 3 Years, 5 Months, 2 Days in the Life of Arrested Developement |
| 13.5% | Mecca and the Soul Brother Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth |
| 12.5% | Daily Operation GangStarr |
| 8.3% | House of Pain House of Pain |
Why should I even bother writing this up? Ice Cube smoked 'em like a cigar, tossed 'em like salad and sliced 'em like bread. Like last year, this was a battle 'tween the hardcore and the less-hardcore. And like last year, the hardcore won. 'Course, the less-hardcore vote was split while Ice Cube's most hardcore competition came from a Beastie Boys write-in, so what can we say?
Overall, Ice Cube was the big winner this year, taking top spot from last year's kings, Public Enemy. Although not reflected here, he also dominated many of the nominations, effectively having every song he's done in the last year appear on someone's favorite list.
And of course, it seems that Arrested Development has made a splash this year and developed a strong following. Not only did they do well in many other categories, but they also managed a strong second for best album, defeating the well-received efforts by both Pete Rock/CL Smooth and Gangstarr. One hit wonders or here to stay? We'll see next year.
But even more so that last year, votes were very close. There were few majority wins or upsets. The competition this year was a bit less flashy, but a bit more solid. This seems like a good thing to me.
And that's it.
I'm out like platform shoes.