1992
What is the New Jack Hip Hop Awards?
A few years ago, everyone on alt.rap and the funky-music mailing list was bitchin' about how lame the Grammy's were in general, and especially how weak they were when it came to rap and hiphop.
Thus was born the New Jack Hip Hop Awards.
You decide on the categories. You nominate. You vote. All we do is count and give out the Jacks. You can't blame us.
So, let's begin shall we?
This first group was maintained with glee by none other than ntmtv!hart@ames.arc.nasa.gov, toe counter.
Phattest Nasty Group
| 36.8% | Naughty By Nature |
| 21.6% | Geto Boys |
| 20.8% | Cypress Hill |
| 20.8% | NWA |
Apparently I need to listen to NbN a bit more and find out just how nasty they are. The rest of the votes were split pretty evenly with Geto Boys getting a slight nod. Say, where is Luke Campbell?
Phattest Nasty Male Rapper
| 43.7% | Ice Cube |
| 22.2% | Too $hort |
| 14.5% | Mix-a-lot |
| 12.8% | Bushwick Bill |
| 6.8% | DJ Quik |
Not even funny. Ice Cube dug himself quite nappily into first place getting almost twice as many votes as Too $Short. Mix A Lot did almost surprisingly well, skimming a few precious votes from Mr Bill.
Phattest Nasty Female Rapper
| 47.3% | YoYo |
| 36.5% | Nikki D |
| 10.8% | Choice |
| 5.4% | Boss (write in) |
Unlike most write-ins, Boss actually managed more than one vote, so I've included her. Either way, Yo-Yo still wouldn't have managed a majority win, but she did come close. Really, it was no contest. YoYo and Nikki D trounced the not-quite-as-well-known Choice.
Still, this is a somewhat better sampling than last year, when it was very difficult to find nasty females.
Phattest Nasty Rap Single
| 39.3% | "Other Level" Geto Boys |
| 31.5% | "Stepdaddy" Too $hort |
| 29.2% | "Mo Pussy" DJ Quik |
This one was a real race up until the end, with the Geto Boys actually coming from behind to win it. "Fuck You Man" by Kool G Rap & DJ Polo actually managed a token vote.
Phattest Nasty Rap Album
| 54.2% | Naughty By Nature Naughty By Nature |
| 33.3% | $horty the Pimp Too $hort |
| 8.3% | Funky as I Wanna Be Pooh-Man |
| 4.2% | Spice1 Spice1 (write-in) |
NbN took a rare majority win this time. No contest. Of special note is Spice 1 who, like Boss, received many write-in votes.
This bit was counted by fletch1@ATHENA.MIT.EDU.
Phattest Crossover Group
| 38.8% | Arrested Development |
| 29.2% | Beastie Boys |
| 12.6% | Pete Rock and C. L. Smooth |
| 10.7% | Kriss Kross |
| 8.7% | Brand New Heavies |
Never in doubt. Arrested Development had it from day one; people seem to prefer Life Music(tm) to the Grunge Rap(tm) of Beastie Boys. Notable just for showing up is Brand New Heavies, an funky band that appreciates hip hop.
Phattest Crossover Male Rapper
| 32.4% | Heavy D |
| 23.5% | Speech |
| 15.7% | Michael Franti |
| 12.7% | Shabba Ranks |
| 8.8% | Chubb Rock |
| 3.9% | Father MC |
| 3.0% | Me Phi Me |
Heavy D had it all the way. Arrested Development fans seemed to realize near the end that Speech is from AD but it was too little too late. Some fans of Disposable Heroes of HipHoprisy seemed to really wanted Michael Franti to win and he actually managed to do well.
And of course, since no one seemed to be able to remember the rapper from Me Phi Me's actual name, it isn't terribly surprising that he came in last.
Phattest Crossover Female Rapper
| 30.1% | Queen Latifah |
| 29.0% | MC Lyte |
| 18.3% | Monie Love |
| 16.1% | Left Eye |
| 6.5% | Lady Bug |
As with every other encounter they've had, The Queen and the Lyte raced it down until the very end. This time, the Queen is triumphant. The big loser was the newcomer Lady Bug of Digable Planets (whom everyone seems to believe is named Cleopatra Jones). The surprise performance is from Left Eye from TLC.
Phattest Crossover Rap Single
| 30.0% | "Crossover" EPMD |
| 29.0% | "Tennessee" Arrested Development |
| 22.0% | "People Everyday" Arrested Development |
| 19.0% | "So Whatcha Want?" Beastie Boys |
It was a race until the end with EPMD pulling it out at the very last minute. Oh, the irony. Arrested Development might have walked away with it if not for the split voting. Victims of their own success, I guess.
Phattest Crossover Rap Album
| 38.0% | 3 years, 5 months and 2 days in the life of... Arrested Development |
| 28.0% | Check Your Head Beastie Boys |
| 22.0% | Dead Serious Das EFX |
| 12.0% | Heavy Rhyme Experience Brand New Heavies |
A race for most of the time but AD wins in the end. There was a nice influx of Das EFX votes near the end as well, but there was just too far to go. Again, fans appreciated the efforts of the Heavies.
This bit of ego was done by alta@ATHENA.MIT.EDU, and why not?
Phattest Braggadacio Group
| 36.8% | EPMD |
| 33.7% | Das EFX |
| 22.1% | House of Pain |
| 7.4% | Fu-Schnickens |
Although the EPMD-produced Das EFX started well, they eventually had to bow to their soon-to-be-defunct benefactors. As in other categories, House of Pain grabbed spurts of votes; however, it was not quite enough this time.
Phattest Braggadacio Male Rapper
| 32.6% | Rakim |
| 28.4% | Treach |
| 14.7% | Grand Puba |
| 12.6% | Chubb Rock |
| 11.7% | Everlast |
Treach and Rakim pulled ahead of the pack early on but it didn't take long for it to be clear that the world belongs to Rakim. Not even a contest.
Phattest Braggadacio Female Rapper
| 29.5% | Queen Latifah |
| 28.4% | MC Lyte |
| 23.9% | Yo-Yo |
| 18.2% | Shante |
It was a tie between Queen Latifah and MC Lyte up until the last day, but her highness came thru triumphant. Shante was never really in it, but Yo-Yo held her own.
Phattest Braggadacio Rap Single
| 33.0% | "They Want EFX" Das EFX |
| 30.9% | "Jump Around" House Of Pain |
| 22.3% | "Don't Sweat the Technique" Eric B and Rakim |
| 13.8% | "I'm the Man" Gangstarr |
Das EFX never actually relinquished their lead but not for lack of trying by House of Pain (poor guys, always a bridesmaid, never a bride).
Phattest Braggadacio Rap Album
| 26.7% | Dead Serious Das EFX |
| 25.6% | House of Pain House of Pain |
| 17.8% | Business Never Personal EPMD |
| 12.1% | Whut? Theee Album Redman |
| 8.9% | Da Skills Dat Pay The Bills Positive K |
| 8.9% | Reel To Reel Grand Puba |
Das EFX managed to beat out their mentors this time. Of course, one might wonder why EPMD is considered a better group in 1992 but Das EFX was thought to have made a better album. One might, but I won't. Notable is the strong showing of newcomer Redman, another from the Hit Squad.
Grab bag counting by kwatsi@athena.mit.edu, racquetball player and Atomic Playboy.
Phattest Lyric
Slammin' music is not required. Both individual rappers and groups
may apply.
| 35.4% | "Scenario" A Tribe Called Quest with Leaders of the New School |
| 19.8% | "When Will They Shoot?" Ice Cube |
| 13.5% | "Hazy Shade of Criminal" Public Enemy |
| 12.5% | "They Want EFX" Das EFX |
| 11.5% | "Air Hoodlum" Public Enemy |
| 7.3% | "Build and Destroy" Boogie Down Productions |
Big win for ATCQ and LONS! Strong showing for Ice Cube's introductory track from The Predator considering that it has never been released. Public Enemy who utterly dominated the awards last year still make themselves heard with two of the new songs from their greatest "misses" album.
Most Slammin' Beat
Dope lyrics are not required. Both individual rappers and groups
may apply.
| 32.0% | "Wicked" Ice Cube |
| 29.9% | "Jump Around" House of Pain |
| 17.5% | "Crossover" EPMD |
| 15.5% | "So What'cha Want" Beastie Boys |
| 5.1% | "Here It Comes" MC Serch |
Once again, House of Pain pulls second. Still, not bad for a newcomer, especially when your competition is fan favorite Ice Cube.
Phattest DJ
It's not a lost art yet. Include the album or EP.
| 33.7% | Terminator X |
| 30.5% | DJ Premiere |
| 23.2% | Pete Rock |
| 12.6% | DJ Hurricane |
Much too almost no one's surprise Public Enemy's scritch-scratcher took the top spot (here comes a flame war). The interesting thing is the close second of DJ Premiere of Gangstarr fame and the strong showing of Pete Rock.
Phattest Producer(s)
For the, uh, phattest producer
| 63.3% | DJ Muggs, for Ice Cube, House of Pain, Cypress Hill |
| 17.3% | Pete Rock, for Mecca and the Soul Brother |
| 13.3% | The Bomb Squad, for Greatest Misses |
| 6.1% | Diamond D, for Stunts, Blunts, and Hip Hop |
Cough. Another rare majority win. Considering the popularity of Ice Cube, House of Pain and Cypress Hill on the net, I suppose no one is surprised. Geez.
Marcell.Gabriel@ebay.sun.com stared at the TV a lot for this one
Phattest Short Form Video
Award for the Phattest video.
| 34.4% | "Scenario" A Tribe Called Quest (with Leaders of the New School) |
| 21.1% | "Wicked" Ice Cube |
| 15.6% | "The Choice is Yours" Black Sheep |
| 11.1% | "So Whatcha Want" Beastie Boys |
| 10.0% | "True To The Game" Ice Cube |
| 7.8% | "Jump Around" House of Pain |
The ATCQ/LONS collaboration finished a very strong first with Ice Cube's newest single at a distant second. Surprisingly, the well-liked "Jump Around" came in last (if you don't count the write-in of Scarface's "Money and the Power").
Phattest Long Form Video
Award for the Phattest long form video release.
| 79.7% | "The Enemy Strikes Live" Public Enemy |
| 20.3% | "The Skills to Pay the Bills" Beastie Boys |
Never a contest. Not even a little one.
Phattest Hip Hop Video Show
Best show, syndicated or otherwise, about Hip Hop.
| 48.8% | YO! MTV Raps with Doctor Dre and Ed Lover |
| 19.8% | YO! MTV Raps with Fab Five Freddy |
| 15.1% | Rap City with Mayor Chris Thomas, Prince Dejour & a million others |
| 11.6% | Pump It Up Dee Barnes |
| 4.7% | Video Music Box with VJ Ralph McDaniels |
Say, hasn't the Dee Barnes vehicle gone the way of cancelled shows? In any case, everyone loves their MTV and Dr Dre and Ed Lover repeat last year's upset by just utterly trouncing any and everyone. Too bad they won't have this chance next year.
Best live performance/tour/live album
Include name of tour or performance or live album/EP.
| 54.0% | A Tribe Called Quest tour |
| 34.9% | Black Sheep tour |
| 11.1% | Fu-Schnickens college tour |
ATCQ wins a rare majority. But what I want to know is how all these voters manage the time to see these folks? And how do they get their info?
In any case, see you tomorrow.