1995
What is the New Jack Hip Hop Awards?
A few years ago, everyone on alt.rap and the funky-music mailing list was bitchin' about how lame the Grammy's were in general, and especially how weak they were when it came to rap and hiphop.
Thus was born the New Jack Hip Hop Awards.
You decide on the categories. You nominate. You vote. All we do is count and give out the Jacks. You can't blame us.
These votes were counted by none other than Marcell Gabriel, still chillin' at sun.com and all that.
Phattest Braggadocio Group
| 57.6% | Wu-Tang Clan |
| 18.1% | Pharcyde |
| 10.1% | The Roots |
| 6.1% | Souls of Mischief |
| 6.1% | Das EFX |
| 2.0% | Mobb Deep |
Phattest Braggadocio Male Rapper
| 31.6% | Method Man |
| 30.5% | KRS-ONE |
| 18.9% | Raekwon |
| 14.7% | Guru |
| 4.1% | Black Thought |
Method Man takes it in a squeaker over KRS-ONE. I suppose there's a reason why the "ONE" stands for "over nearly everyone" (sorry, I couldn't resist... I hadn't said anything snide yet).
Phattest Braggadocio Female Rapper
| 43.6% | Lauryn Hill |
| 23.6% | Bahamadia |
| 18.2% | Yo-Yo |
| 14.6% | Linque |
Lauryn took this one like the IRS takes taxes: brutally and without hesitation. And with the Fugees lookin' to blow up in 1996, the rest of this crew had best come up with something good if they want to have any chance next year.
Phattest Braggadocio Rap Single
| 40.8% | "MC Act Like They Don't Know" by KRS-ONE |
| 27.2% | "One More Chance" by Notorious BIG |
| 21.4% | "Shook Ones, PtII" by Mobb Deep |
| 10.6% | "Proceed" by The Roots |
None of the Method Man singles showed up this time and KRS-ONE decisively takes the victory. Biggie Smalls takes a clear second over MD and the Roots are alone in the cellar. No contest.
Phattest Braggadocio Rap Album
| 38.5% | Made 4 Cuban Lynx by Raekwon |
| 29.2% | Ready To Die by Notorious BIG |
| 24.0% | KRS-ONE by KRS-ONE |
| 7.3% | The Infamous by Mobb Deep |
| 1.0% | E. 1999 Eternal by Bones Thugz N Harmony |
The Meth doesn't have an album here either, but Raekwon takes up the slack for a fairly decisive victory over Biggie and KRS-ONE. MD and those other guys share the basement.
This was counted by none other than Fletch1. Yes, that Fletch1.
Phattest Crossover Group
| 34.9% | The Roots |
| 31.1% | A Tribe Called Quest |
| 21.7% | Naughty By Nature |
| 12.3% | Bone Thugz N Harmony |
This wasn't much of a race for first until about halfway through when A Tribe Called Quest threatened to take first place.
What's that? "A Tribe Called Quest?" you say, "What did they do last year?".
Well, I don't really know, but hey, man, I didn't make up these votes.
One thing I find funny about this category is how unstable it is. None of the groups above were in last year's line-up. Generally, hiphop acts that "crossover" change drastically from year to year. I'm sure this is deeply meaningful and says something profound about the wisdom of trying to satisfying very broad and fickle audiences, but I won't speculate here.
Phattest Crossover Male Rapper
| 45.9% | Method Man |
| 23.5% | Guru |
| 21.4% | Notorious BIG |
| 9.2% | Ol Dirty Bastard |
Not much point in talking about first. The M-E-T-H-O-D MAN took it decisively. On the other hand, the race for second was a bit more interesting. In that race, as you can see, Guru just barely managed to steal it from Biggie.
Phattest Crossover Female Rapper
| 38.2% | Queen Latifah |
| 27.0% | Patra |
| 23.6% | MC Lyte |
| 11.2% | Smooth |
Did I say something about crossover acts changing from year to year? Well Latifah repeats 1994 and wins again. Special almost-made-it props go to Patra. She almost had Latifah beat until the last round of votes. Special props also go to Bahamadia who got two write-ins.
Phattest Crossover Rap Single
| 33.7% | "One More Chance (remix)" by Notorious BIG |
| 30.7% | "Proceed" by The Roots |
| 24.8% | "Hey Lover" by LL Cool J |
| 5.8% | "Sittin On Chrome" by Masta Ace |
| 5.0% | "Are We There Yet" by Dream Warriors |
This was a three-way race for first until the last round of votes. See, your vote can always make a difference. Anyway, Masta Ace and Dream Warriors battled it out for last. The Canadian MCs managed to put it away at the end. Way to go DW!
Phattest Crossover Rap Album
| 41.0% | Do You Want More?! by The Roots |
| 20.0% | Ready To Die by Notorious BIG |
| 16.2% | Mr Smith by LL Cool J |
| 10.5% | Poverty's Paradise by Naughty By Nature |
| 10.5% | Jazzmatazz II by Guru |
| 1.8% | Subliminal Simulation by Dream Warriors |
Man, Guru's follow-up to his popular Jazzmatazz gets no props. He finishes near the bottom with NbN. Oh, yeah, and Dream Warriors. By the way, really, I like DW. I gave their first album a good review. I only kid them now because it's so easy: I mean, really, 1.8%?
Anyway, The Roots took this one decisively. They may not have pulled off a majority victory, but they did do more than twice as well as #2. Also, I have to give a nod to the ever-rappin' (and ever-baldin', I hear) LL Cool J.
Phattest Progressive/Jazz Rap Group
| 55.2% | The Roots |
| 30.5% | A Tribe Called Quest |
| 11.4% | Digable Planets |
| 2.9% | De La Soul |
I am reminded of what I said a year ago this time:
[A Tribe Called Quest has] won [this award] every single year since the New Jack Awards were started (they won it when we called it Bohemian Rap).... but the margin is getting smaller. I think Q-Tip, et al had better look out for up-and-comers The Roots....
And so it has come to pass: a majority victory by The Roots. Mark claims that the Roots had it from the get-go. An order was established early and every vote just reaffirmed that order.
Should I make any predictions for next year? Well, if I was a bettin' man, I'd tell everyone to watch out for the Fugees. They're makin' noises.
Phattest Progressive/Jazz Male Rapper
| 32.7% | Black Thought |
| 30.7% | Guru |
| 27.7% | Q-Tip |
| 8.9% | Phife |
Black Thought held the lead most of the way. Guru had a surge near the end of the voting and managed to tie for first for a little while, but in the end it was Black Thought's day. Q-Tip finds himself dropped from his usual first place spot to an unusual third place, behind his usual rival, Guru.
Phattest Progressive/Jazz Female Rapper
| 50.0% | Lauryn Hill |
| 20.4% | Bahamadia |
| 15.3% | Ladybug |
| 14.3% | Me'shell NdegeOcello |
Speaking of the Fugees, Lauryn Hill utterly dominated this category. It was no contest so I ain't got much to say.
Phattest Progressive/Jazz Rap Single
| 66.7% | "Proceed" by The Roots |
| 17.7% | "Dial 7" by Digable Planets |
| 15.6% | "Watch Whatcha Sayin'" by Guru |
The Progressive category is full of dominating victories this year. The Roots have spoken.
Phattest Progressive/Jazz Rap Album
| 56.1% | Do You Want More?! by The Roots |
| 30.6% | Labcabincalifornia by Pharcyde |
| 13.3% | Jazzmatazz II by Guru |
...and spoken again. That's a bigger margin than the one enjoyed by ATCQ's Midnight Marauders. Damn, that's pretty ugly if you think about it.
In fact, it's ugly even if you don't think about it.
William David Haas counted this one up for us.
Phattest Gangsta Group
| 55.3% | Wu-Tang Clan |
| 17.5% | Dogg Pound |
| 16.5% | Mobb Deep |
| 10.7% | Bone Thugz N Harmony |
Majority victory it is for the Wu-Tang. This ended up being a race for second. I must admit to being surprised that DP defeated MD considering how much flack Dogg Food has gotten on the net and how much flack I got for not praising Mobb Deep in one of my reviews. Oh, well, live and learn.
Phattest Gangsta Male Rapper
| 41.2% | Ice Cube |
| 23.3% | 2Pac |
| 21.1% | Snoop |
| 14.4% | Kurupt |
2Pac barely pulled this one out of his booty to take second from Snoop. And the winner? Oh, yeah, that'd be Ice Cube who has won this every single year since the New Jack Hip Hop Awards began. He took this one with no effort despite the fact that he did very little this past year. As Dav asked with what I'd guess was heavy sarcasm, "Who would have expected that?"
Phattest Gangsta Female Rapper
| 45.2% | Lady of Rage |
| 35.7% | Lil' Kim |
| 15.5% | Bo$$ |
| 3.6% | Sha'killa |
It started out as a race believe it or not. Rage had it halfway through, but Kim was always trying to close the gap. Bo$$ and Sha`killa never really had a chance.
Phattest Gangsta Rap Single
| 60.0% | "Ice Cream" by Raekwon |
| 29.5% | "Natural Born Killaz" by Dre Dre and Ice Cube |
| 10.5% | "AWOL" by RBX |
Damn. Well, really, not much to say (let me give a plug to RBX for a good album, though).
Phattest Gangsta Rap Album
| 61.7% | The Infamous by Mobb Deep |
| 20.2% | Dogg Food by Dogg Pound |
| 18.1% | E. 1999 Eternal by Bone Thugz N Harmony |
So, without a Wu-Tang album to distract people, Mobb Deep just crushed everyone else. Crushed. Like ice cubes in an ice cube maker. Crushed. Like an empty can.
I gotta smile.
Biggest Sellout
For the suckas that go pop. Should have been at least vaguely
hip-hop in the first place.
| 40.6% | MC Hammer |
| 34.4% | Coolio |
| 20.8% | Notorious BIG |
| 4.2% | Masta Ace INC |
No contest. From the first vote to the last, Hammer was on the go. That makes Hammer the sellout king, taking the Jack for Biggest Sellout for three out of five years. Way to go, Hammer!
Second place goes to Coolio with the Bigster a distant third and Masta Ace, way, way back in last place (who thought he sold out again?).
Weakest Rapper
The weakest, but visible, whackster of the year.
| 39.0% | Hammer |
| 22.9% | Coolio |
| 21.0% | Kriss Kross |
| 17.1% | Skee-lo |
Another no contest. Hammer was in charge from the giddy-up. And again Coolio takes second. The once-baby macks Kriss Kross edge out "I Wish" rapper Skee-lo for third.
Biggest Disappointment
This is different than the biggest sellout. Sometimes old
favorites just plain fall off without even getting the money for
selling out. Who fell flat this year?
| 29.0% | Special Ed |
| 28.0% | Tha Dogg Pound |
| 17.0% | Eric B. |
| 14.0% | Ice Cube |
| 12.0% | Souls of Mischief |
This one was very close. Special Ed edged it out at the very last minute. Apparently, a lot of folks were looking forward to Special Ed's new one. As for the Dogg Pound, well, they were gettin' flack from the first Tuesday they released their stuff. On the too bad tip, there's Eric B.'s solo album, Ice Cube's latest round of flavor and heiro mainstays Souls of Mischief.
Most Overrated Rapper
Yet another bit of semantic subtlety. Now there are butt rappers
in hip-pop and we know who they are. But sometimes we get rappers
who produce a strong split in The Underground. Who gets all these
mad props but shouldn't?
| 38.4% | Notorious BIG |
| 33.3% | Bone Thugz N Harmony |
| 13.1% | Ol Dirty Bastard |
| 11.1% | Ice Cube |
| 4.1% | Method Man |
Man. This year's Big Man is all over the radio. Somebody out there seems to think that's too bad. I won't venture an opinion. As for Bone, etc, well....
Most Overplayed Song
Tired of hearing the same ol' same ol' every time you turn on the
radio? Sure you are.
| 69.6% | "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio |
| 17.1% | "First Of The Month" by Bone Thugz N Harmony |
| 13.3% | "One More Chance (remix)" by Notorious BIG |
Ah! Coolio finally takes first place and by a very resounding majority of the votes. The Stevie Wonder sample sure made this one sound better than it might, but does that mean we have to hear it every five minutes? I don't think so. Next up is "First of the Month," another song I got tired of hearing. Finally, we have the "One More Chance" remix. Lots of headz seem to like it, including me, but I must admit it did get played to death. I mean, I don't even listen to the damn radio and I think I've heard those three songs about 4000 times.
Most Overdone Trend
What trend has GOT TO GO, y'all?
| 42.2% | Blunts, tical, weed, etc |
| 40.2% | Gangsta Hardness |
| 17.6% | G-Funk |
This one went back and forth between our first and second place finishers. Blunts won in the end, but I think the real message is clear: blunt-smokin' gangstas need to find a new thang to run into the ground.
Got that, homiez?
Hmmm?
See ya tommorrow, kids.